More KROZOR...because YOU didn't ask for it!!

Oh...my...sweet...jesus. How utterly, utterly horrible.

I quote Comic Shop News #1085...

"Grant Morrison & JG Jones deliver more surprises in DC's Final Crisis #2. Meet Japan's No. 1 pop culture heroes, the Super Young Team and their languid leader, Most Excellent Superbat! Join legendary wrestler Sonny Sumo and super escape artist Mister Miracle as they team to face the offspring of the Anti-Life Equation...etc etc."

You know, I hate DC and I hate what it's done to its universe over the past four years.......but I may well pick up this issue. Sigh...

Krozor: how did I miss THIS one?

FROM the current issue of WWE Magazine on sale in Aussie newsstands ("The 500th Anniversary Issue") comes this little tidbit (above). How did I miss Krozor? Sounds godawful, like all those Chaos! comics put out at around that time (remember The Rock, The Undertaker, Chyna, etc? Ugh!).
Anyone got a copy of the April '97 issue they can send me, so I can review Krozor properly?

"Mucha Lucha!" in "JPA"

I BOUGHT Jam-Packed Action back in 2004 and have only just got around to reading it...there's probably a good reason for that.

This DC-produced comic digest features four short stories adapted from WB animated series Teen Titans, Scooby-Doo!, Xiaolin Showdown and Mucha Lucha! (the reason I bought it).

All the images are taken from the original animated episodes and unimaginatively laid out on the page. Despite the lack of creativity on display, the Mucha Lucha! story's kinda interesting: Richochet enters a tag team tournament to win a reproduction mask of his hero El Rey. Along the way, he goes to the gym and has his head shrunk to help him win his matches (don't ask). It's the pick of the four tales in this book, but that's faint praise.

Detective Comics #550

IT'S another tenuous link, but here we go. Detective Comics #549-550 (April-May 1985) features a two-parter - "Night Olympics" - starring Green Arrow and Black Canary, written by Alan Moore and drawn by Klaus Janson.

The above two panels appear in Detective #550. A crazed bowman has injured Black Canary and is being stalked by Green Arrow when he makes this odd little rant.

Naturally, Arrow later hands the psycho his arse.

The short yarn has been reprinted in the trade paperback DC Universe: The Stories Of Alan Moore.

Two new graphic novels to keep an eye on...

'Whoa Nellie!' by Jaime Hernandez

COURTESY of my newest best friend Bob (including his comments):

Love And Rockets Volume 16: Whoa Nellie!: "Again, I have the original issues, but in this case I might buy it anyway just to have probably the best wrestling comic ever produced in English on a prominent bookshelf. This story dates to the early to mid-90s, too, so if it isn't a reprint the collection is long overdue."

https://www.mailordercomics.com/prodDetail.asp?PID=218391

Holy Terror: "Trying to cash in on my desire to see a conclusion to this cancelled series, they tacked it onto a reprint of the two issues I've already bought. Damn. I want to support wrestling comics but I hate being forced to buy a trade just to see the last 16 to 20 pages of a fairly weak story. I'm undecided. Not a bad deal if I didn't have the first two already, though." https://www.mailordercomics.com/prodDetail.asp?PID=218330

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures #7. My question: why?

THE Archie Adventure Series was one of the most pointless comic companies of all time. An offshoot of the eternal (and eternally boring) Archie Comics line, the imprint had been called Red Circle from the early 70s to mid-80s and used to publish non-humour titles, including some excruciatingly bad comics featuring old 1940s superheroes (who'd been briefly and ingloriously revived in the 60s) such as the Mighty Crusaders, The Fly, The Shield and The Jaguar. A few good artists (like Gray Morrow and Rudy Nebres) got on board, but most of these comics were shit, pure and simple. Red Circle was rebranded as Archie Adventure in 1984.

The superheroes were gone by 1989 but Archie Adventure still put out titles like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures, a kid-friendly version of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird's indy hit TMNT. It was designed to cash in on the animated TV series (and, later, the movies). Amazingly, TMNTA ran from August 1988 to October 1995.

I walked into Kings Comics in Sydney last Thursday evening and was immediately captivated by TMNTA #7 sitting on the front counter. The wrestling-themed cover (and the $2.95 cover price) grabbed my attention and I immediately bought it.

Now, I wish I hadn't. This is beyond awful. Despite the surreal subject matter, Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown's script is so threadbare and sketchy it feels like there's no script at all. There's certainly no suspense or entertainment value. Jim Lawson and Gary Fields' "art" is perfunctory at best.

The plot sounds promising: the turtles are transported to another galaxy (by a disembodied giant cow's head) and forced to wrestle for Intergalactic Wrestling. They must wrestle Cryin' Hound while, in another ring, Ace Duck faces an old Turtles nemesis called Leatherhead.

The two matches are shown simultaneously, split over several pages, in what should be an innovative artistic concept. Pity the "artists" are so crap as it just looks confusing.

The wrestlers are given no personality - they're not even parodies of recognisable real grapplers, which I would've thought might be the obvious joke to do.

Instead, we get several filler pages that seem designed to purely get us to the end of the issue. There's no action and certainly no humour.

Anyway, the Turtles win and get returned to earth. The end.

Why was this comic even produced? What was the point?

Horrible. Simply horrible.